Written on 10 June 2025.

Matthew 10 and the Christian Experience Outside the System

Introduction

In this article, I share a personal reflection on how Matthew chapter 10 has defined my life and faith journey. Unlike many professing Christians—both online and in traditional church buildings—my walk has not been met with understanding or support. This experience is not unique, but it is rarely spoken about honestly. Here, I explain why Matthew 10 has been so central to my life, why I have separated from church institutions and YouTube, and what this reveals about the real cost of following Christ outside today’s religious and digital systems.

The Centrality of Matthew 10

Since I was born again, the words of Jesus in Matthew 10 have resonated deeply with me. This chapter is often dismissed by pre-tribulationists as irrelevant for Christians today, relegated to some future “Great Tribulation” scenario. But for me, the reality described in Matthew 10—being sent out as sheep in the midst of wolves and enduring division even within one’s own family—has defined my walk with Christ.

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. (Matthew 10:16, KJV)

The entire chapter warns of hardship, separation, and betrayal—not as theoretical threats, but as present realities for those who follow Jesus genuinely. I have found that these words are not just ancient warnings but living descriptions of what it means to stand for Christ today.

Churches: Buildings, Budgets, and Bureaucracy

Local churches present themselves as communities of faith, but in practice they often operate as financial institutions. A small church, even with 70–140 members, may require upwards of 100,000 euros per year just to keep the building running, pay salaries, and cover expenses. The pressure to sustain these budgets shapes everything:

- Tithing or giving becomes a test of loyalty.

- The real “community” centers around maintaining the building and the institution, not the spiritual welfare of individuals.

- Those who do not contribute financially, or who do not fit the mold, are quietly marginalized or forgotten.

For me, contributing a tenth of my income for the privilege of drinking coffee in a government-aligned building made no sense. The buildings and their budgets take priority over the lives and faith of individuals. After separating myself and simply staying away for two years, I found the institution lost interest in me—and, more importantly, I regained peace and clarity.

YouTube and the Illusion of Christian Community

YouTube is promoted as a platform for evangelism and Christian fellowship. It’s true that there is a biblical case for evangelizing online—after all, many lost people spend their time there. But in reality, most Christian activity on YouTube falls into two camps:

- Evangelists who, often genuinely, use the platform to reach the lost.

- Self-promoters who seek a following, sometimes for business or recognition, sometimes just for their own satisfaction.

The era of amateur, organic Christian broadcasting on YouTube is fading. Instead, most channels are now oriented around online business models or self-promotion. The ordinary believers—the ones who were just there to share, listen, and support—have mostly disappeared.

After years of broadcasting, I saw that if you do not have an organic, real listenership (people who actually care, who will follow your work wherever you go), then you are simply investing energy into a system that does not care for you in return. When I stopped uploading, no one contacted me. The “community” proved itself to be a mirage.

Organic Listenership vs. Digital Attention

If people are truly interested in you, your message, or your perspective, they will go beyond YouTube—they will follow external links, contact you directly, and maintain genuine relationship. When subscribers disappear the moment you leave the platform, it’s a sign that the bond was only ever shallow and entertainment-based. True friends and true listeners would remain in contact, regardless of platform.

Separation and the Call of Christ

My experience has forced me to accept the reality described in Matthew 10:

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. (Matthew 10:34–36, KJV)

Life as a Christian can mean enduring separation, betrayal, and misunderstanding—even from those who claim to be your brethren. But it also means enduring with hope, as David wrote:

By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me. (Psalm 41:11, KJV)

Over time, I have learned that separation from these systems—whether churches or YouTube—does not mean defeat, but rather spiritual survival. It means no longer casting pearls before swine and no longer pouring energy into structures that have no real care for your soul.

The Command to Shine: Not Hiding the Light

Despite these disappointments, Christ calls us to let your light so shine before men (Matthew 5:16). The tension remains: to speak out when called, but not to waste energy where it will bear no fruit.

Conclusion: A Testimony of Endurance

My Christian journey has been defined not by community approval or institutional belonging, but by living out the hard words of Matthew 10—often in solitude, sometimes in conflict, but always with the assurance that God’s favor is not measured by numbers or recognition.

For anyone who resonates with this story, you are not alone. There are more believers walking this path—quietly, faithfully, and outside the system—than you may realize.

Transcript

Okay, so I'm doing a little audio again and basically I don't really, I have a situation in my life with my faith that is quite different from, or it might be quite different from other people and I also receive really no understanding from professing Christians, I have not received any understanding or support from professing Christians regarding my situation and it basically goes back to around, well it's my situation, it's my life kind of, and it's basically summed up in Matthew chapter 10 and I think Matthew chapter 10, some would say that it's about the tribulation, the great tribulation and it's not relevant for Christians today because they're going to be pre-trib raptured, which I don't believe in, but either way they do not care about me, you know. And why is that? Well, I would say that there is some effort on YouTube, for example, for evangelizing. So you have some effort for evangelizing and that's because there are lost, a lot of lost people on YouTube, so that's kind of supported and I think even biblically you can claim that, or God is behind it, that evangelizing is okay on YouTube because of all the lost people.

And then there are some people who want to promote their own channel, who do their thing and want to promote their own channel and some of them have an online business, some of them do not have that, but for some reason they like to do their thing online because YouTube is a public broadcasting service, so you can, you know, you might have reasons for speaking publicly or whatever. But I've not received, as I said, much understanding or much care or support for my situation by the Christian community. Then you have the churches, like local churches and local churches are mostly about the building, because it needs to be cleaned and it needs the electricity, costs money and so on.

There's a lot, there's actually a lot of expenses related to a church. Like a church can have a budget of, it can cost about 100,000 euros per year to run a church and you need, that's including the pastor's salary, which might be a half salary or a complete salary. Either way, it's a big part of it and the electricity is a big part of it and so on.

So, now they might receive subsidies from the government, whatever also, but point being that there's a lot of money involved in a church, even in a smaller church, which maybe has like 70 members or so, 140 members. A church with 140 members has that kind of budget, you know. So, there's a lot of expenses involved and that's every year they need to get that kind of money or they have to close down.

So, with churches, the thing with churches is that it's mostly a financial thing. It's mostly about the money and because of that, you can, if you don't want to contribute with a tenth of your income or something to the church, I mean, why contribute a tenth of your income just to go and drink coffee with some people? It's crazy and here they're strange and the churches are basically quite close to government buildings. I mean, they align with government buildings and it's a bit secularized.

There are politicians there and it's money-driven, you know. If you have given money, if you give money to the church and someone else doesn't give money to the church, then you're in trouble if you don't. The one that doesn't give money to the church is in trouble.

So, it's better to leave if you're not supporting their building, you know. It's just the way it is and there's no really, I mean, some people will go on with this and discuss it and how do we change the church and all this stuff and that's not the correct discussion. The discussion is to not enter the buildings again, you know.

That's how we sort that out and it actually works. It works to sort it out that way because they're really just about the building. So, churches, local churches in themselves, it's a story of themselves and it might not even be the biblical story in a sense.

It's a building that needs support and it might not be relevant to your personal salvation or whatever. I was not saved in a church, for example. So, it's just to stay out of these churches and I've found it very productive to just, if you don't enter their buildings for two years, if you don't enter their buildings for two years, they will forget about you or they will leave you alone at least.

So, there's often a two-year time period, you know, when things with authorities and so on, if they haven't heard of you for two years, things change regarding how they relate to you because you're simply not active there. So, and that applies also to other stuff, not just churches. But I'm gonna read a bit about chapter 10 in Matthew and when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against the unclean spirits to cast them out and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.

Now, the names of the twelve apostles are these. The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew, his brother, James, the son of Zebedee, and John, his brother, Philip and Bartholomew, Thomas and Matthew, the publican, James, the son of Alphaeus and Lebeus, whose surname was Thaddeus, Simon, the Canaanite and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him. These twelve Jesus sent forth and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles and into any city of the Samaritans and enter you not, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

And as you go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils freely you have received, freely give. Provide neither gold nor silver nor brass in your purses, nor script for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staffs, for the workman is worthy of his meat.

And into whatever city or town you shall enter, inquire who in it is worthy, and there abide till you go thence. And when you come into a house, salute it, and if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it not be worthy, let your peace return to you. And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when you depart out of the house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city. Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in the synagogues. And you shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, take no thought how and what you shall speak, for it shall be given you in that same hour what you shall speak.

For it is not ye that speak, but the spirit of your father which speaketh in you. And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child, and the children shall rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death. And you shall be hated of all men for my name's sake, but he that endures to the end shall be saved.

But when they persecute you in the city, flee you into another. For verily I say unto you, you shall not have gone over the cities of Israel till the Son of Man be come. The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.

It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household? Fear them not, therefore, for there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed, and hid that shall not be known. What I tell you in darkness, that speak you in light, and what you hear in the ear, that preach you upon the housetops.

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul. But rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing, and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your father? But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Fear you not, therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth, I came not to send peace by the sword, for I am come to set the man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.

And he that loveth son and daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross and follows after me is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it, and he that loses his life for my sake shall find it.

He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward, and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water, only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.

Okay so this is Matthew 10. And this chapter has been central to me in my life since I was eternally saved. And there's also some relevant scripture in David in Psalms when he says, you know, my enemies are ever with me, but I know that you favor me because they don't overcome me.

You know, there's a Psalm about that. He talks about his enemies, let them go down into the pit, you know, and so on. So, but this is my life has been a lot of Matthew 10 actually.

Matthew 10 has been my life and I received no understanding or response for this on YouTube because YouTube is basically just evangelizing and then there are, on top of that, there are certain people who promote themselves, self promoters who want a following for some talent they have or something that for meritocracy, for merits or whatever they want, they want, look what I can do or so on. And then they want people to follow you and people should do like you or something. So these kind of people exist on YouTube and that's understandable.

Some of them live on donations and some do not. But what I found is that the people who are just ordinary believers who don't have an online business, they have tended to disappear from YouTube. So YouTube has become more about online business, I think, than anything else, than amateur broadcasting.

Now, at least when it comes to King James Bible Faith Alone community, I've noticed this. But I want to say this, that Matthew 10 sums up about everything in my life that I've experienced since I was born again. And it's been, as you can understand, if you read Matthew 10, it's a terrible thing, but at the same time, there is hope in it and there is truth in it and so on.

But you go through hell almost, but not really, of course, not real hell. But as David said, that you favor me that they do not overcome me. So I've had this experience and I've been casting out the unclean spirits too, just like it says in Matthew 10 and all this stuff about sending a sword, you know, variance and all this stuff.

I've been living with variance. I've learned to separate myself from the enemy as much as possible. But I've not received any support or care from the internet.

So I've been broadcasting, I've been broadcasting on YouTube. When I came out on YouTube, I think it was December 2017, I started doing broadcasting. But as I said, you know, I have about 55 subscribers on YouTube.

But if you don't have any organic listenership that is caring and well-meaning, seriously caring and well-meaning, I mean, real friends, if you don't have any real friends that are subscribing to you, that are willing to talk to you and so on, and that you can trust, then really the question is, why even bother to be online? It's not that, it's more like, why even bother to put any energy? Because when you do this broadcast, you're actually putting your own energy into something. And that's it. I felt like, why put any energy in this? Why do this when I get nothing back? And not only do I get nothing back, but really, when I stopped doing it, there was nobody who contacted me, which also is a, that was a clear sign to me that there's no reason to continue.

So that can be explained by that a lot, I think it's, they discovered that only one to five percent or something of the people leave, go to follow external links outside of YouTube. So that can, but statistically, if you're not on YouTube, you don't exist in their eyes, the subscribers leave you, you know. But that means you don't really have organic listenership, because if people are interested in your stuff, they would follow your links wherever you go, you know, if they really are interested in you, your information or whatever, you, your viewpoint or whatever.

But if they're interested in whatever succeeds on YouTube, you know, then they, or if they're just browsing YouTube for entertainment or whatever, then they wouldn't go there or they're not interested. But my point is that if I don't have any organic, real listenership that are interested in hearing from me, and will keep up with me wherever I go on the internet, let's say, yeah, whatever happens, they want to be in on it. And that's the case with many people, like gurus and stuff.

And, you know, anyone, people who are considered to have some unique, important information to contribute with, people will pay, some people will pay to get behind the paywall and get to know what they think, you know. So, and I'm not saying people should pay, but if there's no interest beyond the entertainment, as long as I'm on YouTube, if there's no organic, as I call it, organic, real traffic, organic subscribers, or organic real subscribers, people who just want to hear what I have to say, if they don't exist, then it's, I'm wasting my time with that. So, that's what I've been thinking about, because I've been, it's been very quiet.

And that's what I've been thinking about, that it's just wasting your time. Talk to people, I mean, if there are a lot of haters out there who want to hurt me or whatever, it can be wiser to not say anything then, you know, but at the same time, Christ says that we should not put, we should be a light to the world, not put ourselves under a bushel. So, that's why I sometimes do public things on YouTube and, and so on.

So, this is Mattias speaking, and I have the site prophetmattias.com and tias.cam, so it's, yeah. And I have a YouTube account. Yeah.

Okay. But anyway, it's Mattias speaking.

Reference

The original audio version of this testimony is available at [1](https://tias.cam).