The Burden of Belief

The Weight of Words

Chapter 1: The Reunion

The glow of the computer screen flickered across Mike’s face as he leaned in, his voice thick with condescension. “You’ve been slacking, Edward. What’s your excuse this time?”

Edward shifted uncomfortably in his chair, fingers drumming against his desk. He hated these livestream sessions with Mike but kept coming back. Why? Maybe it was the promise of understanding. Or maybe it was the hope that this time, things would be different. But tonight, like so many nights before, the conversation felt suffocating.

“I’ve been busy,” Edward replied softly. His words were polite but defensive, like someone apologizing for existing.

“Busy?” Mike scoffed. “Yeah, right. That’s what lazy people say.”

Edward clenched his jaw. It wasn’t the first time he’d been made to feel inadequate during their chats, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Mike always found a way to twist the knife—sometimes through humor, other times through sermons disguised as advice.

Chapter 2: The Subtle Blade

The conversation shifted quickly, as it always did. From video games to fasting, then abruptly to religion. Mike launched into one of his familiar monologues about salvation, sin, and the responsibilities of a “real” Christian.

“You need to get your act together,” Mike said, his tone sharp. “You say you believe, but do you really? What if you die tomorrow? Where would you go, Edward?”

Edward hesitated, unsure whether he should answer honestly or say what Mike wanted to hear. He had learned that honesty wasn’t safe here. “I’d go to heaven,” he said cautiously.

Mike’s laughter crackled through the speakers. “Based on what, Edward? Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear.”

Edward’s face burned. He knew Mike thrived on these moments—poking holes in Edward’s beliefs, unraveling him piece by piece. It was less about saving Edward’s soul and more about asserting dominance.

Chapter 3: Isolation Tactics

As the night wore on, the conversation turned darker. Mike berated Edward for his “lack of growth,” accusing him of ignoring advice about reading the Bible, taking vitamins, and avoiding sin. Every suggestion was framed as an order, every critique as a moral failing.

“You’re still watching porn, aren’t you?” Mike’s voice was cold, almost gleeful.

Edward’s hands trembled. “No, I stopped.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Mike snapped. “You think I don’t know? I’m trying to help you, but you’re making it impossible.”

The weight of Mike’s words pressed down on Edward like a stone. He had confided in Mike once, back when he thought they were friends. Now, that vulnerability was being weaponized against him.

Chapter 4: The Mask Slips

Between the lectures and accusations, Mike occasionally threw in jokes, trying to soften the blows. But even the jokes felt barbed. When Edward laughed nervously, it only encouraged Mike to push harder.

“You know,” Mike said, leaning back in his chair, “I’ve spent hundreds of hours trying to save you. You’d be nothing without me.”

Edward swallowed the lump in his throat. “I appreciate it, Mike.”

“Do you?” Mike’s eyes narrowed. “Because it sure doesn’t seem like it.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. Edward felt like a child being scolded, his worth measured by how well he could meet Mike’s impossible standards. The air between them was thick with unspoken tension, the kind that made escape feel both necessary and impossible.

Chapter 5: Breaking Free

After nearly two hours, the call ended, but the echoes of Mike’s words remained. Edward sat motionless, staring at the screen. His chest felt tight, his thoughts spiraling.

Why did he keep coming back? Was it guilt? Obligation? Or had Mike convinced him that he couldn’t function without his guidance?

But tonight was different. Tonight, something inside Edward shifted. He realized that no amount of spiritual advice justified the constant belittlement. He didn’t need Mike to save him. He could save himself.

With trembling hands, he shut down the computer. For the first time in months, he felt a flicker of hope.

He didn’t have all the answers, but he knew one thing for sure—he deserved better.

Epilogue

Weeks later, Edward sat by a window, sunlight streaming through the glass. He hadn’t spoken to Mike since that night, and the silence was liberating. He had started reading the Bible on his own terms, not out of fear but out of genuine curiosity.

And as he closed the book, he smiled. His journey wasn’t perfect, but it was his. And for the first time, he felt at peace.